Personal Reflections on IMG Two-day Retreat on 1/27 & 28, Leah

It was beyond my expectations to be one of the retreatants of this two-day retreat, as I initially identified myself as a helper. However, since there were many experienced volunteers taking care of everyone, I had the opportunity to practice moving and sitting meditation. 

With the transition of my roles, I could not settle my mind at first, worrying my inexperience could cause problems for myself and others. Yet, under the gentle guidance of Ven. Guo Chii, I gradually immersed myself in the serene and inclusive ambiance, becoming aware of my unsettled mind. Observing and taming it has been the most challenging yet engaging part. 

Most of the time, my mind just wandered around, racing nonstop. But there were a few times when I picked up the method, and it felt like the surroundings naturally flowed into me. I became more aware of the subtle changes around me, such as the sensation of clothes touching my skin varying with each inhale and exhale. Sometimes, it felt as if the numbers resided in my breath, floating with its stable and calm rhythm. There was also an extremely brief moment when I stopped labeling sensations, and they flowed through without getting hold of me. But it didn't last long because I soon labeled this experience as positive, and that mental state immediately disappeared.

That aside, I appreciate the fact that you made it to this line, but I encourage you to take what you just read as nonsense. The harder I tried to describe my experience, the more distorted it seemed. The feeling of living in the present moment is so wonderful that describing it from memory is sheer profanity. Words are not experiences, and it's always better to experience them yourself. 

But before concluding my embarrassing monologue with sleep-talk-like nonsense, I must say that moving meditation and the unwinding yoga really helped me settle my mind during the sitting session. Lastly, I found one of the most powerful techniques to calm my mind was observing Sacred Silence, and this is what I'm going to do as my Dharma duck needs to exercise its legs more often.

I wish you a mindful day in the Dharma. 

Written by Leah on Feb 2, 2024