Positively Caring for Oneself and OthersPositively Caring for Oneself and Others

David Listen's talk regarding mental health and well-being was incredibly inspiring. He offered much wisdom in highlighting the intersection between Buddhism and mental well-being. The subject that resonated the most from his discourse was when he was talking about the importance of ensuring one's own well-being before one can help others. Using the example of an adult putting on an oxygen mask on oneself before a child in an airplane, he beautifully mentioned how, as Buddhists, it is in our Bodhisattva aspiration to save all sentient beings. Yet, we forget that we ourselves are among those to be saved. David emphasized that, because of the practice of outward compassion to help others, many of us forego the necessities of respite, nutrients, and sleep. However, in doing so, we cause suffering upon ourselves, and although we may think that persevering through such suffering without rest, we are helping others, we are blind to the fact that inevitably our suffering will spill onto others. Conversely, as we show compassion and empathy to ourselves, that will inevitably be projected outward to all sentient beings.

Such a vexation indeed resounds with me, as I often forget to say no to requests for additional work, whether for volunteering, shifts, or an extra assignment. I then find myself overwhelmed with work, where I lose sleep and patience, which evidently results in a deteriorated mood and mental health. Through David's reminder that we should be kind to ourselves and be willing to take a break, I could reflect on my current commitments and see that I was taking on too much work for myself. I realized that with all my obligations, I would be too fatigued and tired to do the things that are truly important to me, including practicing the Dharma.
 
During the Q&A session, I asked David a question that was haunting me and, without an answer, continued to cause me anxiety and even shame. I asked David how we, as Buddhists, may overcome senses of guilt for failing to uphold Buddhist observances such as the 5 Precepts or daily meditation. Growing up in more Conservative and Orthodox Buddhist circles, I carried with me that the solution was frequent repentance for transgression or committing acts of bad Karma. I expected David to say the same. He did, in fact, mention how repentance was something that can be done and is often emphasized, but it was what he proclaimed to be more important that really stuck with me. He said, "that before anything, Buddhist practice should be a positive experience and make us feel better, not worse." With that, he reminded me that by constantly worrying about my practice, I was turning the Dharma into a negative experience for myself. That is certainly not what the loving Buddha wants for me. Furthermore, David reminded us that the fact that we have Precepts to be broken in the first place is a step on our Buddhist journey that we should be incredibly proud of.
 
Overall, this talk was an absolutely fantastic experience, and I feel truly honoured to have been able to participate in such an enlightening event hosted by Dharma Drum Vancouver Centre.
 
Written by Zhenyi Tsai 2023.01.13
Photo: Dharma Drum Vancouver Centre 2023.01.13


News report: Buddha Heart - A Wise Way to Care for Self and Others